Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.

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What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

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Why is Patrick so dumb?

He's living under a rock.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

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What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well it depends on what you mean by change.

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Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

What do you call a deer without eyes?

No-eye deer! Note: we are from Hicksville, USA. This may not make sense without the Midwestern accent.