Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.

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Why is my waiting room empty?

Judge: "I hauled everyone off to court" Doctor: "You're trying my patients"

Why isn't there a straight pride parade?

They tried that but people kept on thinking it was the checkout line at Home Depot.

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What does a Muslim man call a girl he is living in sin with?

Haram bea

What do you call the horse than lives next door?

A neighbour!

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What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

What do you call a group of philosophers?

An argument.

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What's good for the soul and rarely found in America?

A sense of humor.

What do you call a punchline that makes no sense?

A Bobbitt