Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

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What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?

The hypotenuse.

How did the farmer find his daughter?

He Tractor.

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Why are pirates so popular?

A: They just arrrr.

What do you call Japanese people that fly planes?

Pirates.

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Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

What do you call an eye doctor living on an island in Alaska?

An optical Aleutian.

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What did Tennessee?

the same thing Arkansas

Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

Sooner or later they find a potent cousin.

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What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Because they all live in kansas.