Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

How dare you complain about your life?

Someone's mom is Snooki.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call a virus named Enza that causes the flu?

a flu Enza. Thanks a lot everyone, I looked forward to this day for a long time.

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio?

Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What did the naturalist say when he saw a number of rocks covered in moss?

I'm lichen what I see"

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"