Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why do blondes like blonde jokes?

It makes them feel popular.

Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick?

Because the Doctor can never see him.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What's the difference between the number 3 and David Cameron?

One's a prime number, the other's a prime minister.

Why was number 6 scared of number 7?

Because 7 8 9!

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"