Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face?

Because I told him a good joke.

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What should I tell him?

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

When I fix someone's computer and they say "Wow how'd you do that?

I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face.

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What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning?

Because she has two faces.

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What's the difference between a good joke and click bait?

This isn't a good joke.

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

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Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face?

Because I told him a good joke.

Who did the dyslexic man sell his soul to?

Santa. /cringe

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How does a monster begin a fairy tale?

Once upon a slime . . ."

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!