Why did the musician hate getting drunk?

He always had treble finding his keys!

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How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

What kind of a fish do you always find on a beach?

A dead one...

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Why does the NSA hate the winter?

They got snowed in.

Who does a hypocrite really hate?

A hypocrite!

Musician Jokes More Musician Jokes

What do you call an emperor who's also a musician?

A rock-czar

What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning?

He was conducting.

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Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish.

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!