How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How can you tell if Asians have broken into your house?

The dog is gone, the homework is done, and they're still trying to get out of the driveway.

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Which ones?

Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble

Where is your wife ?

In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why does the Coast Guard have ultraviolet lights?

To help them find missing sea men.

Why did the bee get married?

Because he found his honey.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects?

Is it about black people

What's the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi?

People from Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

What do you call The Bear who loves philosophy?

winnie the Philosopooh

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Who's there ! Czech ! Czech who ?

Czech before you open the door !

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

Why do gingers get sunburned so easily?

It's nature's way of telling us to lock them indoors

What do you call a crippled kid locked in a hot car?

Steamed Vegetable.

Trunk Jokes More Trunk Jokes

Where does an elephant carry its laptop?

In its trunk.

What do elephants use for tampons?

Sheep. Why do elephants have trunks? Sheep don't have strings.

15 Minute Jokes More 15 Minute Jokes

How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Catholic?

Catholics acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle. Extra: What's the difference between Catholics and Lutherans? Catholics just acknowledge each other in the liquor aisle, Lutherans have a 15 minute conversation about booze.