Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

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How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy?

He used conditioner on them.

What is the main material used in the manufacture of TIE fighters?

TIE tanium

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What do you call an actor who has given up civilized life and gone to live in the wilderness?

Will Feral. Edit: I tried

Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!

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What phrase would a neckbeard who watches South Park use the most?

M'Kay

Who else is watching and laughing their a$$ off?

Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss

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Why do SJWs hate dentists?

Because they want to make teeth straight and white.

Who is the most hated actor in Saudi Arabia?

Shia Labeouf

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What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

What was the old man in despair about?

Nothing.