Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

He wanted to see how long he slept.

What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich?

When it's too heavy to lift.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.