Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?

A: To see how long he slept.

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

What did the flower say when she was begged not to tell a secret?

Chrysanthemum's the word.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

because they spend too much time with the x-position

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do the French not pronounce "h" at the beginning of words?

Because they hate it.

What do you call someone who hates pencils?

Erracist