Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the difference between a black dad and a elevator?

A elevator can raise a kid

What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids?

A real hootenanny!

Gabe Newell Jokes More Gabe Newell Jokes

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

3rd Base Jokes More 3rd Base Jokes

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base