3rd Jokes

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

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Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

Why did Michael Jackson love Beethoven's 3rd symphony?

It was done in A minor.

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries?

Guidelines

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from feminists.

Why should I shave my downstairs?

Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back

How do you know when a grenade is thrown by a blonde?

When you can pull the pin and throw it back

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why should you never bet on Germany at the Olympics?

They have the worst track record for finishing a race.

What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics?

Gopher gold.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the seven dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up?

Well, it looks like its back to jerking off.

Which French novelist looked like a scrotum?

Balzac

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

2016 Olympic Jokes More 2016 Olympic Jokes

How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic?

None of the North Korean athletes defected.

Where's the best place to go if you want a little head?

The 2016 Olympics.

' Jokes More ' Jokes

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

How do you get from Iran to Iraq without moving?

You switch the 'n' with 'q'.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.