Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

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Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

What do my brother and Julius Caesar have in common?

They both hate been stabbed

What do you call it when you stab a vampire in the lungs?

A miss stake

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

How do you start a rave in Uganda?

Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling

How do you fix a broken website?

With stick e-tape.