Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

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Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing?

They have the gift of tongues...

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

Which aardvark holds the speed record?

The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can?

One of them gets taken in every once in a while.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

What do you say to Jennifer Anniston after she has been stabbed?

So noone told you knife was gonna be this way?

What do you call a black guy who was stabbed by a Mexican?

An ambulance.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

What did the DNA say to the RNA?

What are U doing here?

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

Why was the marshmallow stuck to the tree?

It was taped.