Homeless Man Jokes

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man?

An Instagram account.

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can?

One of them gets taken in every once in a while.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What do you call a homeless man?

A Hobo Sapien.

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

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Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant?

Go big or go home

What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash?

A rootabaga.

What do you call two homeless men hitting each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

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Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What kind of music do phones love to hear?

A symphony

What music does a balloon really hate?

Pop

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?

Mortgage freeman.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

Workout Jokes More Workout Jokes

What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

Why don't women fart?

They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

American College Jokes More American College Jokes

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

Trash Jokes More Trash Jokes

When is the closest Leo will get to an Oscar?

When he takes out the trash

Whats worse than five dead babies in a trash can?

One dead baby in five trash cans

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

How was the beach?

You hang ten or what " No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation

Why did Beethoven hate Mozart?

Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach.