Homeless Man Jokes

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing

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What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man?

An Instagram account.

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can?

One of them gets taken in every once in a while.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What do you call a homeless man?

A Hobo Sapien.

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

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Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant?

Go big or go home

What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash?

A rootabaga.

What do you call two homeless men hitting each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

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Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

Whats the difference between a lentil and a chikpea?

I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face

What do you call 200 white men chasing a black man?

The PGA Tour.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry?

they have too many ohms to be good conductors.

Why did the corn maze go back to school?

It was tired of working in a dead end field.

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

How many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They can't, it'd be much too cramped. How would they even get in there in the first place?

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

What did the psychiatrist say to the man who walked into her office wearing only cling wrap?

I can clearly see you(')r(e) nuts.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What is JigSaw's favorite genre of music?

Trap

What does music have to do with safety?

If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.

Accept Jokes More Accept Jokes

Why did Nietzche's Shop go out of business?

He accepted eternal returns.

Whats the difference between and old computer and a woman?

a computer accepts a 3.5 inch floppy