Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

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Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you get if you rub an eggplant?

A little aubergenie

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

Cause she was a woman

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

A: Claude

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball

What do you call a dog with no legs and balls of steal?

Sparkie.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning?

Well it's back to the old grind!

What do mexicans drink in the morning?

Dos Eggys

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why am I not asleep?

he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

What do you call a fish with three eyes?

fiiish. (works when spoken :-/)