What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's worse than a white guy walking into a church andshooting 9 black people?

He let the others get away... I feel I'll be downvoted to hell for this...

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why are there scratches all over your face?

Jujitsu training" You can scratch in jujitsu "It's my cat's best move"

What does a child with stickers have in common with a cocaine addicted DJ?

They both love to scratch and sniff. (sorry if it's a repost I'm not here often)

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did you learn in school today?

Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How do you get a sweet little old lady to say F***?

Get another one to yell BINGO

What has four legs and yells "Hodi doh, hodi doh?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?

A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't?

A widow.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.