What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them?

The lanlord!

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

What do you call an uncertain insect today?

A May bee.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What are you guys yelling about?

them: YOU'RE DRIVING

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What is Ronald Reagan's favourite vegetable?

James Brady.

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.