Rub Jokes

What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One goes "ribbit ribbit", the other goes "rub it rub it".

This joke may have profanity.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

What is the difference between a toad and a horny toad?

A toad says rib-it, rib-it. A horny toad says rub-it, rub-it.

This joke may have profanity.

Why are stick people extinct?

Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Why did the genie turn the man into a toad?

He rubbed him the wrong way.

What sound does a horny toad make?

rub it rub it.

This joke may have profanity.

What did the horny frog say?

Rub-it

This joke may have profanity.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why do Women rub their eyes when they wake up?

NSFW) A: They don't have balls to scratch!!

This joke may have profanity.

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ?

Chimney Cricket !

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

What did the perverted frog say?

Rub-it!

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it?

here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

What does a horny toad say?

Rub it

This joke may have profanity.

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

What do you get if you rub an eggplant?

A little aubergenie

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Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

When is a car like a frog ?

When it's becing toad !

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Why do men like love at first sight?

Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do pirates prefer black women?

They love booty.

What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?

To catch a predator. Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5? Because they can't even! Why do white people have so many pets? Because owning people is not legal anymore Would love to hear more white people-specific jokes :) They seem to be really rare.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Why are there no good jokes about men?

Because they were written by women.

What's the shortest book ever written?

A: French War Heroes.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How about anonymous white people arguing with one another viciously on the internet?

Has that been tried yet

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why wouldn't the man dance?

His pants had no ballroom.

How does a man on a moon get his haircut?

Eclipse it.

Aladdin Jokes More Aladdin Jokes

Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics?

He was on performance-enhancing rugs.

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

Explode Jokes More Explode Jokes

Why the population in India is exploding these days?

Because everyone over there is doing IT!

What color were eyes of the Astronaut on the Challenger when it exploded?

Blue. One blue this way ---- and the other blue that way -----