What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

What's the difference between a women's argument and a knife?

The knife has a point !

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids?

Naughty pine

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What do priests and zits have in common?

They bost bust on 12 year Olds faces

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Why is some guy out there screaming insults at all the vehicles?

Sees sign PRE-OWNED CARS* "Oh."

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't witches have babies?

Because their husbands have hollow-weenies.

Where do baby apes sleep?

Apricots.

Sandpaper Jokes More Sandpaper Jokes

What did the dog say when it sat on a piece of sandpaper?

Ruff!

What did the dog say after it slid across some sandpaper?

Ruff.