Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why does the ocean roar?

You would too if you had crabs on your bottom and oysters in your bed.

Why was the policeman in bed?

Because he was an undercover cop

Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What did Gandalf say when he tried to shut down Auschwitz?

You shall not gas!"

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

How often to wizard journalists get paid?

They make a Daily Prophet.

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?

Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly.

What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

I'll be goddamned.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What is a Budget?

A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff