Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.

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What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?

A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!

How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest?

You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose. :/

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How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

What did the dog say after a hard day at work ?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P

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Why is the Champs-Elysees lined with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade.

Why are there so many avenues in Belgium?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow.

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What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.