Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?

How much for the petting zoo?

Person: What *Drunk at Walmart by the dressing rooms*

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?

A reptile dysfunction. Thank high me for that one.

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How can you tell when Mitt Romney is lying?

His mouth is moving.

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?

A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why are Democrats stupid enough to believe in climate change?

Because they were vaccinated as children.

What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.