Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day?

Because it's the first date.

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Anybody Jokes More Anybody Jokes

Why don't skeletons go to the Veterans Day parade?

Because they don't have anybody to go with.

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How does a SQL expert get a date?

getDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

What did the donuts do on their date?

They glazed into each other's eyes

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

New Years Day Jokes More New Years Day Jokes

Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day?

Because it's the first date.

What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ?

Turns over a new leaf !