Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How many tweekers does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on which method you try....

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What clothes do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's the most poular Christmas carol in the desert?

Oh caaamel ye faithful.

What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

What do you get when you kiss a sick bird?

Cherpies.

Secretary Jokes More Secretary Jokes

Why did the termite got divorced?

Because she ate the secretary.

What is the difference b/w secretary &amp private secretary?

Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR &amp Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.