Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

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Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

How do apply for a job at the NSA?

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

What's a Republican's favorite number?

NEIN!"

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they're all screwed.

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

Lotion Jokes More Lotion Jokes

What do you call it when two bottles of lotion start dating?

A re-lotion-ship.

What did justin beiber say to his mom?

I FOUND MY MICROSCOPE, now all I need is my lotion and tweezers