Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

x-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

Why are they called One Direction?

Looks to me like they go both ways.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

How to you know that cows will be in heaven?

It's a place of udder delight.