Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?

Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.

How was the Redditor with only one karma upvote able to look like he had five karma upvotes?

He was a karma-karma-karma-karma, karma chameleon!

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Why was 4 afraid of 5?

Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word.

Photosynthesis Jokes More Photosynthesis Jokes

What do you call a picture of an electric piano?

Photosynthesis!

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

Conversation

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"