Bilbo Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

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How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What do you call a pompous Hobbit?

Bilbo Braggins

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

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Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

Why would atomic weapons be useless against Turkish rebels?

Because roaches can survive nuclear radiation.

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Where do boxers punch each other the most?

In the ring.

What is Saturn's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

an asymp-tote*

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?

They can lighten your load !

Old Hobbit Jokes More Old Hobbit Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Tea Jokes More Tea Jokes

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial?

High koala tea

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre?

Ping Lo.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Vivaldi die poor?

Because he was baroque.

Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?

They stayed away from the mainstream.

Bruce Willis Jokes More Bruce Willis Jokes

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!