Football Match Jokes

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

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What lights up a football stadium ?

A football match !

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

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L. Jokes More L. Jokes

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

What's a hippie's favorite animal?

An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend?

IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"

How does an idiot call for his dog?

He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.

Football Stadium Jokes More Football Stadium Jokes

What lights up a football stadium ?

A football match !

Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?

He tripped a fan

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What's the fastest thing in Bulgaria?

Light

Why so?

The light bulb replies, "I'm a light headed!"

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

Football Pitch Jokes More Football Pitch Jokes

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?

The scenter spot!

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Referendum Jokes More Referendum Jokes

What's the plural of "Referendum"?

Riots.

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.