Kid Meal Jokes

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Whatcha doin?

Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.

Breastfeed Jokes More Breastfeed Jokes

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

Why are smaller breasts better for breastfeeding?

They're more of a kids meal.

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

Who invented cereals?

Chris P.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

Why did Caitlyn Jenner lose custody rights of her kids?

Her kids couldn't see her anymore, she was a trans-parent.

Bear Attack Jokes More Bear Attack Jokes

Who directed this?

HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

Small Breast Jokes More Small Breast Jokes

Why are smaller breasts better for breastfeeding?

They're more of a kids meal.

Why do Asian woman have small breasts?

Because her parents accept nothing less than an A.