How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

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How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

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Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

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How do you tell which truck is the mail truck?

It has huge balls on it. Credit goes to the 70 year old man who just came into my work and made my day.

How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes?

You pull down their genes.

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Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?

How I bought your mother

Why did the Ferguson protesters not participate in Black Friday?

Because they have already looted everything they would have bought anyway.