Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What do you buy a recently neutered cat?

Spay Roses.

What knight of the round table never paid with cash when buying something?

Sir Charge

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

How long have you had this problem?

the doctor asked. "Lest's see" said the patient "Mom had the litter in '41

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service."

What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

Er Jokes More Er Jokes

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out.