Lube Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking??

Slow down and grab some lube!!

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

Steel Beam Jokes More Steel Beam Jokes

What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

How many sides does a pentagon have?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&ampM student have in common?

They both applied to UT Austin

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

Who is the only one that has smoked as much weed as Wiz Khalifa?

Wiz Khalifa's tapeworm.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the man go to the doctor after taking his friend to work?

He had carpool tunnel

What do you call a Doctor who received all 'D's in Medical School?

Doctor

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

Pace Jokes More Pace Jokes

What's it called when you try a different flavor of salsa?

A change of pace.

What do you do when your girlfriend starts to smoke?

Slow the pace and apply more lube!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What's The Coolest Thing On the Internet I Can Buy for Under $100?

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wyozq/whatisthecoolestthingicanbuyonthe/c5hp9rg

How do cats buy things?

A: From a cat-alogue!