Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

Fish Market Jokes More Fish Market Jokes

Why did my sister go down to the fish market?

Oh just for the Halibut!

What does the blind say when he walks past the fish market?

Hello ladies.

Agony Jokes More Agony Jokes

What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ?

He died in agony !

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What dose a device that makes electricity and a person who likes a comment on caitlyn's face book page have in common?

They are both generators (jenner-rater)

Tumblrina Jokes More Tumblrina Jokes

Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher?

It wasn't her job to educate people.

Why was the tumblrina mad at the gamer?

He was pushing the right trigger.

Tumblr User Jokes More Tumblr User Jokes

Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen?

They are afraid of triggers.

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What's the difference between an all girls soccer team and a tribe of pygmies?

One is a bunch of cunning runts.

What do Detroit and the Olympics have in common?

You hear a gunshot and see a bunch of black guys running

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball

Why was Cinderella bad at basketball?

Because her coach was always a pumpkin.