Tumblr Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

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Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What do you get when you mix triangles with Tumblr?

Trigger-Nometry

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

What is Tumblr's least favourite show?

NCIS

What is the biggest gender on Tumblr?

Whale-Kin

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything?

A bunch of offended Tumblrinas

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

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What's the name of the car of a hipster batman?

Tumblr.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette?

Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so odd?

Because they can't even.

What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user?

Napkin.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun?

The gun has only one trigger

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths?

Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out.

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Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

What's a blind mans favorite car?

A cataract

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do white girl groups only walk together in odd numbers?

Because they can't even

Why the long face ?

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face ? Horse: because I'm a raging alcoholic.

Nap Kin Jokes More Nap Kin Jokes

What do you call a tired tumblrina?

A nap-kin.

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

Fence Jokes More Fence Jokes

What happens when a Cow tries to jump over a fence?

Udder destruction

Why did the Redditors like when a tornado hit a fence?

There was a lot of reposting to do

Dry Jokes More Dry Jokes

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

What does the Pope use to dry his hands?

Papal towels.

Tire Jokes More Tire Jokes

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire!

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did Adele crossed the road?

To say hello from the other side.

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument