How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.

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Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

Because they'll crack up anyways

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What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke?

RIP post

What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

Why do Australians have a well balanced walk?

They've a chip on both shoulders

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What do you call a white guy in an abusive relationship?

Whipped cream.

What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys?

Coach.

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What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

What are you doing, creep?

she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."