How can you tell two people are married?

Both are yelling at the same kid.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren't my kid are you

Why did the kid fall out of the tree?

I shot him Why did the second kid fall out I stapled them together Why did the third kid fall out Peer pressure

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How did the sad clown smile and laugh again?

They told him his wife died recently.

What's wrongdad?

Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

Why can't watermelons get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

Pillow fight!

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"