How can you tell when Mitt Romney is lying?

His mouth is moving.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What lies upside down a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

What's brown and steaming and lies behind the barracks?

Gomer's pile.

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Where I from?

Please tell me.

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

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Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

What works better than anti-depressants?

A 12 Gauge in the mouth This came to me whilst being all depressed.

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What's Mitt Romney's favorite make of vehicle?

A Mack truck, because it already has a little dog on top.

What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink?

1%