How did the blind man know Santa was in his house?

He felt his presents.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's better, Star Wars or Star Trek?

Answer: Knowing what intimacy with another living human being feels like.

What do a gang member and a redneck have in common?

They both know how to throw a good hoe down.

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

What will Tesla build this christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

Why didn't the tree get any presents for Christmas?

He was knotty.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the person say when a flood struck his house?

Damn it!

Why did the house go to the doctor?

It was having window panes.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk?

Udderly useless.

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?