How do you get a fire started?

You burn some fagots Look up the definition before commenting/down voting...

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did the woman leave her overweight husband unconscious in a burning building?

Because she couldn't stand him.

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch?

Chicken Caesar Salad

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call sandpaper on fire?

Bernie Sanders

What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?

Bernadette.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of innocence?

A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.

What's the definition of a Yankee?

A. Same thing as a "quickie" only you do it yourself.