How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb?

Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many married women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Yeah right, like married women ever screw anything other than poolboys.....

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Why do robots make bad boyfriends?

They just screw, nut, then bolt.

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

Sigmund Freud Jokes More Sigmund Freud Jokes

How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb?

Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.

What did Sigmund Freud do for mother's day?

His mom.