How do you know a woman is wearing tights?

Her knees swell up when she farts.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What did water say when ice farted?

Ice melt it.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why can a woman never be a good DJ?

They will never listen to Logic or Reason.

What do you call a woman in heaven?

An Angel A crowd of women in heaven - A host of Angels And all women in heaven - PEACE ON EARTH!

Knee Jokes More Knee Jokes

How is God just like a regular man?

If you're not on your knees, he's not interested and you know what they say, abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One because his knee grows.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?

The cat ate her.

What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test?

Her *algaebra*.

Swell Jokes More Swell Jokes

How do you know a woman is wearing tights?

Her knees swell up when she farts.

Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?

A: To keep the swelling down.