How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?

Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?

Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes)

How do you get Americans to join a World War?

Tell them it's nearly finished.

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

How many vegan people does it take to change a lightbulb?

One vegan, I am vegan, it was me - the vegan, I was the only vegan, it was me.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

Why can't you run through a campground?

You need to RAN through a campground because it's past tents.

Marathon Jokes More Marathon Jokes

Why don't Germans compete in marathons?

They have a sad history of not finishing off races.

What's the best part of running a marathon?

Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!