How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why was schrodinger's cat in trouble with the law?

I don't know, but he was wanted dead and alive.

How do we know God's not a woman?

We're not sandwiches.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why did the gentleman hold the door?

Because he was dying to do so.

Why is China a communist country?

Because nobody wants to hold an erection.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's black and hanging from a tree in my backyard right now?

A black berry.

Where do criminal spiders hang out?

The deep web

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How do you call a cow with no legs?

You don't, because cows don't have phones.

How did people charge their phones before electricity?

They didn't...!

Meth Head Jokes More Meth Head Jokes

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

Comcast Jokes More Comcast Jokes

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast