Comcast Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

You might also enjoy:

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party?

There's no punch line.

Why are chickens never invited to the party?

They are always party fowls.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do boys and algebra have in common?

They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

Sir Jokes More Sir Jokes

How much for the selfie stick?

Him: Sir, that's an Olsen twin. Me: I'll take it.

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What do you do after you but a new oven?

Invite all of your friends over and have an oven warming party.

Why should you always invite mushrooms to your parties?

They're fun guys!

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

What's the difference between a nun on her knees and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in their soul, the other has soap in their hole

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it?

Just another reason to teach your cat to read.

What do tornadoes and redneck divorces have in common?

Either way, someone is going to end up losing a trailer.

Satan Jokes More Satan Jokes

Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office?

Because the devil takes many forms.

What's Satan's main social media site?

Pentagram

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did Frodo set his phone to vibrate?

He was afraid the ring would give him away.

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang