Meth Head Jokes

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

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How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out my underpants?

My mother.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if "Thomas the Tank Engine" was set in early-1940s Germany?

ThomasDieKleineLokomotive

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

What has 52 teeth and can hold back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..?

I herd.

How do you tell a British guy that it's his turn to play ball?

Europe"

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A computer will accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Sorry comments are unavailable on this joke.

How many hobos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dumpsters

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

Good Thing Jokes More Good Thing Jokes

What's the best thing about twenty-three year olds?

There's 20 of them

Whats the best thing Orlando Bloom's ever been in?

Katy Perry