What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!"

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting?

You only need one nail to hold up a picture.

What's a stoners favorite word?

Here! (Must be said like you are holding a hit in)

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?

He didn't like being spoken to in that voice

What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?

Bilingual What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks only 1 language? American.

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What did the mute say to the priest?

Nothing

What do Wal mart and priests have in common?

They both have boys pants half off. I'm going to hell lol

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl peeing?

Because P is silent.

Bath Jokes More Bath Jokes

How do you call for a bath?

With a Teletubbie.

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

Announce Jokes More Announce Jokes

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

What's the difference between a train and SONY?

When the train announces an arriving "Station", you can see it.