How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks.

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ?

Because he had his own scales !

What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ?

Fang letters !

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

Why are you prodding me with that ruler?

Im measuring your patience"

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What's the difference between 'Oh' and 'Oooh'?

About three inches

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.