How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

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Why are you in such a bad mood?

5-year-old: I haven't had my coffee. Me: You've never had coffee. 5-year-old: Exactly.

Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee?

Tsarbucks

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Why does toilet paper need a commercial?

Who is not buying this

Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

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How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews!

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

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What type of currency do people use in outer space?

STARbucks.

What are Starbucks two shipping options?

Ground and federal expresso