Moses Jokes

How does Moses makes his coffee?

Hebrews it.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-nile

How did Moses feel after falling for a craigslist scam?

Egypt.

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How did Moses part the Red Sea?

He used a Sea-saw.

How did Moses make his coffee?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews!

Why doesn't Moses buy beer?

He brews it.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst?

God Dam It!

How did Moses make his tea?

Hebrewed it

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

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It's a Nicki Mirage.

Why will you never go hungry in a desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

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What's a homophobic congressman's favorite place to swim?

In da Nile

Why did Baby Moses believe he was Egyptian?

Because he was in da Nile.

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Why didn't you obey that stop sign?

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don't believe in a higher power.

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What is Jesus' favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

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What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most?

Harrelson's woodie.

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

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Why do engineering majors refer to themselves "engineers"?

You don't see literature majors calling themselves Starbucks baristas

What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"