How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

to get to the other side

How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How long does it take Han Solo to screw in a light bulb?

less than twelve parsecs.

How many Jihadists does it take to change a light bulb?

Allah them. (I googled several varations and thus far I believe I am the originator)

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

How do the French Train for War?

The 100 Meter Sprint

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Actor Jokes More Actor Jokes

Why do they say "break a leg !" to actors ?

If you said "tear an ACL !" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot.

What do you call an actor that has just paid off his house?

Mortgage Freeman

Ninety Jokes More Ninety Jokes

How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car?

One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."