How many Heisenbergs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

If you know the number, you don't know where the socket is.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when Santa's in the room?

You can sense his presents.

How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Pollyanna's does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It's too dark.

How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many engineers do you need to change a lightbulb ?

You can take as many as you want but they will only give you the screwing direction.

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!

Why can't two even numbers be together?

The odds are against them.

Socket Jokes More Socket Jokes

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!