How's your nutrition?

ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman?

The car salesman knows he is lying.

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

Dip Jokes More Dip Jokes

What does the Pope dip his chips in?

Holy Guacamole

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

Custard Jokes More Custard Jokes

Whats yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

What do you call a custard when it goes bad?

Off-pudding.

Burrito Jokes More Burrito Jokes

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

How's your nutrition?

ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse.