What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?

The politician replied, "Shhhhh -- just pay it."

This joke may have profanity.

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How did the hermit pay for his home?

A: Alone.

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

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When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

How much will that be?

asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

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How do you know when a politician is lying?

Their mouth is moving.

Why do politicians take laxatives?

So they can speak more fluently